Losing my voice

Feels like I have something to share but unfortunately, I lost my voice. I’m not speaking metaphorically, I’m talking literally.

It was about 3 and a half years ago. Common cold combined with a public speaking event strained the vocal chords and wallah, my voice never came back with any strength.

This itchy and scratchy voice has a name – it’s called Spasmodic Dysphonia and quite frankly it’s a real hassle. A few times a week some stranger will ask me if I’m sick, especially if I’m talking on the phone. To which I attempt to explain ‘no’ just have a dodgy voice. It’s a fair question. There are many days I don’t sound well.

I remember being at parties where people would mimic me thinking they were being funny while I manipulated my voice in all kinds of ways to just get a sound out. I remember walking into a regular business breakfast I attended where there had been an idea that rather loud music would help create some atmosphere, which did create a buzz, but unfortunately annihilated my capacity to participate in a conversation.

While this last paragraph may seem like I'm being critical, I’m not. They’re just examples of where people could have danced with me, with more love. We all miss these opportunities. There are times where I feel I could have been loved and considered more, and times I could have loved more, both in work and business and also in my personal life.

So what’s the point of sharing this? It’s to help me recognise, and maybe you too, that life’s experiences offer insights on how I want to play this game of life. Sometimes I hit the sweet spot, sometimes not.

The potential to live a life with being loving and kind as my first ambition, regardless of the situation, seems like an incredibly rich goal.

It seems far easier to be primarily focused on other achievements, but such other achievements feel somewhat shallow if I’m not residing in my heart.

Food for thought. Take a moment to ponder your highest ambition. Don’t answer this out of habit, or conditioning from your past, think about it for yourself, with freshness in your mind.